Mind your Mind Expo

Dealing with Rejection and Disappointment

The road to success is not without obstacles. Ruben knows better than anyone how painful it can be to pour your heart and soul into a piece of music and then be rejected. “You work for months on a track you fully believe in, and then you either get no response or are told that it’s ‘not good enough’.”

How does he deal with it? By talking. “In the beginning, I felt ashamed. You ask yourself: 'Am I not good enough?' But by talking to other artists, I discovered that we all run into the same walls. It’s not personal, it’s part of the deal.”

Additionally, setting goals helps. “I believe in manifesting. Not everything happens at once—sometimes it takes years for a dream to become reality. An example of that is playing at Tomorrowland. That was always a big dream, and at some point, it became a reality.”

Learning to Enjoy the Moment

Despite his successes, Ruben remains critical of himself. “The problem in the dance industry is that everything moves fast. You look forward to a performance, and before you know it, it’s over. And then the question comes: 'Was this the last time? Will I ever come back here?' I need to learn to enjoy the moment more.”

Music as an Emotional Outlet

For Ruben, music is not just work, but also a way to process emotions. Surprisingly, in his free time he doesn't always listen to dance music, but rather to Norwegian pop music. “My girlfriend is Norwegian, and their music is melancholic and pure. Artists like Maria Mena move me. When I’m not feeling well, that music helps me.”

A Support Network in the Dance Industry

The DJ world can be lonely, but there is also mutual support. During the corona pandemic, a WhatsApp group with 200 DJs was formed, an initiative by Armin van Buuren. “Everyone was facing the same mental challenges. One felt useless without shows, another struggled with depression or anxiety. We discovered that we were not alone.”

Monitoring Mental Health

For Ruben, it is essential to maintain his mental health. “Walking helps me enormously. Just getting away from the studio, the screens, the industry. Just going outside, to the beach or the woods.”

The discipline from his youth also plays a role. “As a child, I did judo. That taught me how to deal with rejection and persevere. That mentality still helps me.”

A Message for Young People

For young people struggling mentally, Ruben has a clear message:

“You are not alone. Talking helps. There are always people who want to support you, even if it doesn't feel that way. Seek help, share your feelings, and remember: it gets better.”