DIRK DE WACHTER
Coming home
Interview with Dirk de Wachter | 'Coming Home' | by Tamara Swart
Coming home
The ultimate mental well-being is being in harmony with yourself and feeling that life is going the way it is meant to go. It is like coming home to yourself and realizing, "this is how it should be." I am privileged to experience this myself. As an example, I mention that I have found my calling as a psychiatrist. That is, of course, not a metaphysical destiny, but it certainly feels that way. This profession gives me meaning, and I hope I am quite good at it. My wife, children, and everything that life seems to consist of also bring me home. I say this to myself as well. It is the core of what I want to leave behind in this world. My conversations, books, and podcasts are merely an outgrowth of my core idea. The people who come to my consultation with their grief, shortcomings, and problems, and who can say that they have benefited from it—that is what it is really all about.
Basic idea
Naming and labeling mental disorders can sometimes be necessary to understand things and put them in perspective. An accurate diagnosis can be a first step, but it is important to look beyond the label and see the person as a whole, with all their roles and meanings. Every human being is more than a diagnosis. My role as a psychiatrist and my view of the world revolve around believing in the power of people. I believe that everyone can find their own strength, dignity, and talent, and that this is the key to their healing process. That is my fundamental, hopeful standpoint. I am convinced that no problem escapes hope and that we all have the strength to deal with it. This is my basic idea.
Art
A world without music and art would be unlivable and inhuman. Creativity forms the basis of our humanity and civilization. Art emerged when humanity became aware of its own mortality and the need for meaning grew. In times of unbearable loss, such as the passing of loved ones, we draw strength from art. For example, we dance around deceased bodies, make music for solace, create sculptures and paintings to remember, and tell stories about the past and the future. In my opinion, all art is connected to death in one way or another. And although this may sound sad, it enables us to transform grief into meaning, remembrance, and beauty. The process of elevating sadness to meaning and beauty is essential to our ability to live and to fully embrace the human experience.
Vulnerability
I have become more vulnerable lately because I am confronted with my own mortality. The risk of a relapse is real, which leaves life somewhat uncertain. There is always a certain shadow hanging over me. Usually, I don't think too deeply about life and am mainly busy with my work, my patients, and my obligations. Now I feel more emotional and dependent, which is why I seek more support from my wife. At such moments, the loving and caring other proves to be crucial. My wife is a GP, so we can talk to each other well. We don't deny it, because that would be pointless. But we don't dwell on it for too long either. For the time being, I am not letting it hinder my happiness. I am happy, and the situation does not stand in the way of that. That is positive.
Happiness
Striving for happiness can sometimes be a mistake. Although this is putting it strongly, I believe that focusing too much on happiness as the goal of life will ultimately lead to unhappiness. The essence of existence is not merely pleasurable, but rather fulfilling, purposeful, and leading a meaningful life. That brings happiness on a deeper level than the superficial, materialistic form of happiness that is often propagated. Small moments that at first glance seem normal and unremarkable are actually the important moments. For example, a nurse briefly holding my hand and saying "we are here for you" when I am in great distress, or my wife coming to see me after my surgery when I have woken up full of hallucinations and fears. These are all meaningful moments of compassion. It is always about humanity.
Goodness
The idea of 'small acts of kindness' reflects the gesture of modesty and compassion of people who are aware of their transience and therefore set aside their pride to help others. Life revolves around responding to requests for help and offering assistance to others. This approach touches the core of our human existence and emphasizes the value of simple and compassionate acts in life.
